


I Need Some Sleep

by Spotedleaf5



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-04
Updated: 2015-10-04
Packaged: 2018-04-24 19:18:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4932079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spotedleaf5/pseuds/Spotedleaf5
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for Samifer Song Wars 2k15, "I Need Some Sleep" - Eels</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Need Some Sleep

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this in one day and didn't polish it. If you see any mistakes, let me know!

> **“I need some sleep  
> ** **It can’t go on like this  
> ** **I tried counting sheep  
> ** **But there’s one I always miss”**

“Sam, man, you’ve got to stop.  Metatron lied; this trial is going to kill you!”

“So,” Sam asked, staring blankly at his brother.

Dean’s mouth opened and closed, unable to find the words to console his younger brother.  Dean didn’t get it.  Dean didn’t have to live with knowing he’d screwed up everything he’d ever tried to do.  Dean couldn’t understand.

Dean had watched, begging him not to do it, while Sam injected the last of his blood into Crowley.  Sam hadn’t feared for what came next; with his last breath he’d done one last good thing.  That was enough.

Sam Winchester was tired. No, it was something beyond tired; tiredness implied he could recover with rest.  Sam Winchester was burned out.  There was no recovering from this; his body burned from the inside out as the Earth quaked beneath him.  Sam Winchester was free.  His eyes closed, the wrinkles on his face smoothed themselves out, and his lips bore the faintest hint of a smile.  Sam Winchester was dead and content.

> **“Everyone says I’m getting down too low  
>  Everyone says you just gotta let it go  
> You just gotta let it go  
> You just gotta let it go”**

He awoke at peace. The wind rustled leaves nearby. He was in a forest by the smell of it; the sweet aroma of the Earth and its inhabitants.  His skin warming in the sun as he lay there, he decided not to open his eyes.  He’d seen enough.  

“Sam,” the voice startled him, forcing him to open his eyes.

As predicted, he lay under a canopy of leaves.  The forest felt familiar; a memory from his childhood, perhaps.  A memory from a time where he wasn’t constantly under the crushing weight of failure.

Death sat in front of him on a log, looking down at Sam who found he was lying on a bed of leaves.

“It’s an honor.  When I heard it was you, I had to come and see for myself,” Death said.

“I’m glad you’re getting something out of this too,” Sam muttered, sitting up and brushing leaves off his jacket.

“Perhaps,” Death said evenly.

“Before I go, I need to know.  If I go with you, can you guarantee this is the end?  Can you promise that this is the last time, that no angels or demons or deals can bring me back?”

“I can promise that.”

“Okay,” Sam sighed, standing up.  Death rose and Sam followed him.  

They ended up standing outside a cabin, Bobby’s hunting cabin, Sam realized.  He’d spent some of his best weekends as a kid in that log building.

“Be my guest,” Death said, opening the door to the cabin.  This time the furniture and mementos from his memories were obscured by a blinding white light.

“Where am I going,” Sam asked, hesitating.

“I’m sorry, Sam. That’s not my bag.”

Sam nodded and stepped through the door.

* * *

After he passed through the light, he entered another green area, though this was more like a meadow than a forest.  The grass tall enough it brushed against his fingertips as he walked towards the Roadhouse.

It looked the same as the last time Sam was there, except when he opened the door, he wasn’t greeted with a chorus of cheers and chatter.  There was only one man, sitting with his back to Sam.

“Sam,” he said, and Sam immediately recognized Lucifer’s voice.

So, back to hell it is, Sam thought to himself.  It made sense; he’d hoped that one last good gesture would atone for his sins, but clearly it hadn’t been enough.

“This is what I deserve,” Sam muttered to himself, taking the seat across from the devil.  He might as well take his eternal punishment head on.

“You’re not in hell; you’re not even in the cage.  So, you must be wondering, Luci, if this is heaven, why are you here?  Excellent question.”

“This isn’t real; this is just another game.”

“Aww, you remember my games? It’s been so long—well, longer for me—a few centuries, at least.  But you’re wrong, Sam, this isn’t a game.  You thought you could walk away from your life?  Well, think again.  Metatron didn’t just lie to you, he lied to Castiel, and he used him to cast all the angels to Earth.”

The wheels spun in Sam’s head leading him to the conclusion.  “You’re not in the cage.”

Lucifer had no reason to be lying to him, plus he knew the angel would never have been allowed back into heaven unless there was no one to stop him.

“No, and neither is Michael, and he’s mad.  None of us can get into heaven.”

“So, how are you-“

“How am I here?” Lucifer guessed.  “You’re not dead, yet, Sammy.  This is what you could call the ‘public’ part of heaven; that’s why you could see it before when you were just visiting.  This is where souls go before they’re escorted to their private heavens.  But there are no angels to do that, and you’re not beyond saving until you go to your own personal heaven.”

“So, Dean’s still trying to pull me back?”

“Yes, and he’s enlisted the help of another traitorous angel to trick you into letting him possess you.”

“Dean wouldn’t do that.”

“Wouldn’t he? Wouldn’t he do everything in his power to bring you back?”

“Death promised this was the end.”

“And once you go to your part of heaven, it will be, but that can’t happen until-“

“Until there’s an angel to escort me.  So, go on. You’re an angel, aren’t you?”

Lucifer winced at that.

“As we speak, your brother is asking an angel far worse than me to inhabit your body, the angel who let the snake into Eden in the first place.”

“That was you.”

“No, that was Gadreel.”

“So, what, I’m just supposed to trust you now?”

“I never-“

“Yes, I know, you never lie to me, but that doesn’t mean you don’t twist the truth and pick and choose which parts of it to give to me.”

“Look, we don’t have much time—“

“Sammy, what the hell are you doing,” Dean burst into the Roadhouse.

“Dean,” Sam gasped. He wouldn’t have—no—Dean wouldn’t have killed himself to follow Sam.

“Sam, you got to listen to me.  He’s lying; it’s what he does.  Look, he’s right about the angels having fallen, but that doesn’t mean you should listen to him,” Dean conceded.  “Sam, you can’t do this to me.  Not after mom, not after dad, not after Bobby.  Look, we promised we were done making deals for each other.  I won’t do that Sammy, but I can’t let you go.  You did it man; you saved the world.  But that’s not it; that’s not the end.  There are still shifters and every other kind of scum that walks the Earth.  You can’t just check out early and leave me to pick everything up.  There aint no me if there aint no you!  You’re not dead yet.  Just let me in; let me help you.”

“Dean, I can’t—“

“Don’t listen to him, Sam, that’s not your brother.”

“Shut up,” Dean roared. “Sam, are you seriously listening to the devil!  You’re not going to be able to go to heaven anyways, he was right about that, so come back, man.  I need you. Will you come with me?”

“He’s trying to get you to say ‘yes,’ Sam.  That’s not your brother,” Lucifer crossed his arms.

“Sammy, look, you’ve made mistakes, but you can’t believe that I’d want to be with anyone else but you. I love you, Sammy, you’re all I have left.”

That sealed the deal.

“You’re not my brother, leave,” Sam ordered.

“So he does have a brain.”

“Shut up, Lucifer,” Sam grunted.

“You’ve left me no choice,” Dean said before his body rippled and became another man.  “Sam Winchester, if you stay here, you won’t stay yourself.  Souls that aren’t escorted to heaven go mad and become the very things that you hunt.  Let me in; I won’t interfere, I’ll heal you as I heal myself.  We’ll find a way to bring the angels back to heaven, and, when we do, I will personally assure you end up back in your heaven.”

“That’s rich, considering what it takes to change your mind.  You know why he let the snake into Eden?  Because I offered him a promotion.  He’s a bottom feeder, Sam, but he’s right, you can’t stay here too long or your soul will collapse in on itself turning you into a monster.”

“So?”

“Sam, you know you don’t want to be a burden anymore; don’t become another monster than needs to be hunted down,” Lucifer said with sincerity.

“So, what?  Let one of you possess me?  I don’t think so.  I’m done.”

“That’s it; I was hoping this could be done peacefully,” Gadreel drew his blade.

“I wouldn’t do that, brother,” Lucifer warned, drawing his own blade.

Gadreel charged Lucifer, blade glistening in the low light of the Roadhouse.  Lucifer easily blocked causing Gadreel to crash into a table rendering it no more than a few pieces of wood.

“Give up, Gadreel. You’re old and slow.  I’ve had plenty of practice in combat in the past millennium.  Don’t make me shed any more blood.”

“Like you wouldn’t jump at the chance to fight me off and win Sam’s favor,” Gadreel lunged with his blade which was once again blocked by Lucifer.

“Brother, we were close once, I don’t want to have to fight you,” Lucifer jumped up onto another table.

“Then stop seducing Sam Winchester to your side,” Gadreel countered.

“Like you’d even know what to do once you had him,” Lucifer finally added some offense, managing to get a deep cut into Gadreel’s arm.

“Like you don’t have a bigger agenda for him,” Gadreel sliced through air again.

Watching the angels fight, trading insults and accusations, couldn’t help but remind Sam of his time within the cage.  

Time passed differently in the cage, but for the first ten years or so of his time there, it was a constant bloodbath between Michael and Lucifer, until Lucifer had stabbed Michael in the leg and ran off to nurse his wounded shoulder.

When he’d healed himself, Michael had come at Sam and Adam, hoping to take out his aggression on the other occupants of the cage.  Sam had defended himself with every avoidance technique he had, while Adam ran.  

In a moment of distraction, Michael had managed to cut up Sam’s back pretty deeply.  He’d thought he had been done for until Lucifer stepped back into view and began the battle with Michael again, allowing Sam to escape. Sam hadn’t thought twice, he’d run. But after ten minute or so, when he knew he was away from the worst of it, he rested by some boulders.  That’s when the cage really got to him.

Alone, with nothing to think about, the hallucinations had started.  He spent years reliving the worst moments of his life until Lucifer had come, battered and bloody, to lay beside Sam.

Sam left the memories in a daze, realizing Lucifer was now grinning atop a bloodied Gadreel.

Noticing Sam he frowned. “I didn’t kill him.”

“Oh, uh, good.”

“He wasn’t lying about you having to get out of here, though.  I noticed you zoning out.  You were reliving something that made you angry, weren’t you?”

“No,” Sam said definitively. “It just confused me.”

“Anyways, that’s how it starts.  You begin to have trouble recalling the present, you live in your memories until they bring you back to the real world where you become the very thing you hunt.”

“So, what do you want me to do about it.  I think we remember how well my last possession went.”

“Sam,” Lucifer said softly. “I’m not asking you to trust me. I’m not even asking you to like me. The thing is, you need me and I need you.  You’re not going to be able to stay here forever, and it’s only a matter of time before Michael organizes the angels on Earth to start coming after your brother and Castiel.  I know, it’s not fair to ask you to do anything more, but they need you, Sam, and it’s the best option.”

> **“I need some sleep  
>  Time to put the old horse down  
> I’m in too deep  
> And the wheels keep spinning ‘round”**

“I don’t want to go back,” Sam said, sure of himself.

“But I do, and you’re the only vessel who I can hope will be able to help me.  I’ve come to appreciate being in the cage.  It took away my responsibility.  While the other angels made the tough choices, I finally got to recover from years of pressure.  I only ever tried to be the perfect son, but no matter what I did, it wasn’t enough. I tried to do the best I could with circumstances and my father punished me anyways.  I don’t want to go back to trying to be the perfect son, but I don’t want to see any more of my brothers and sisters turn on each other.  Already they’re slaughtering each other in the name of Michael, and I cannot allow that.”

“So, Sam, I’m asking you for one last thing.  Share your body with me so I can right the wrongs my siblings are responsible for. Once heaven is reopened, I’ll return you; I have no interest in trying to control the angels anymore.  I just don’t want to see anyone else put them through more suffering than necessary.”

“So, what do you say, Sam? No grudges, no power struggles, just you and me making the choices together.”

“And how do I know you’ll do what I say,” Sam countered.

“I seem to remember you being particularly adept at regaining control,” Lucifer smiled.

Behind them, rocks crunched as Gadreel sat up.

“Quickly Sam,” Lucifer demanded before turning around to block Gadreel’s blade.

> **“Everyone says I’m getting’ down too low  
>  Everyone says you just gotta let it go  
> You just gotta let it go  
> You just gotta let it go”**

From what Lucifer and Gadreel had said, Sam could tell there was no advantage to loitering in the lobby of a heaven that was never going to open.  Sam was dead on his feet; he wanted everything to be over so he could go to his heaven and never be the scapegoat or the failed leader again. And, you know what they say, better the devil you know than the devil you don’t.  

“Okay, I consent, Lucifer.”

Lucifer froze where he was fighting, his body dissolving into beautiful white light with a faint blue tint.  The air crackled and smelled of ozone before the high-pitched ringing began.

Over the ear-shattering noise, Sam thought he saw Gadreel say “You’re making a mistake,” but it was inaudible, and soon enough, Sam’s eyes were blinded by Lucifer’s true form.

He felt the moment he and Lucifer joined, and thought about that time in the cage.  It had made him mad, mad at himself for enjoying what it felt like to be protected by the archangel, but there was no avoiding that now.

Having Lucifer with him made him feel like he was coming home.

> **“You just gotta let it go”  
>  -** _I Need Some Sleep, Eels_

( tagged by [@winchester-draco](http://tmblr.co/mU28lfCfOwIeeQDNIBec5yQ) )

**Author's Note:**

> Unless there is an interest, I don't plan on writing any follow up to this.


End file.
